Sunday, 30 September 2012
Do You See What I See?
Acrylic on canvas, 2010, 16" x 16".
There isn't really that much I can say about this painting, other than it is one of only a very small number of accurately detailed paintings I have done. I find it difficult to go into this much detail, and I prefer to work big. It is the meaning that is most important for me to get across.
The text is the words that he is saying to her, to torment her. "You will surrender to my demands."
What inspired this painting was that about a year earlier I had a period of bad insomnia, that led to me experiencing a number of unpleasant hallucinations. One of which was people I didn't recognise coming into my home even though my door is always locked. I always feared that they were there to attack me, and the fear of them returning when I was asleep only made the insomnia worse. In fact the most recent panic attack I had was when I saw somebody appear by my bedroom window one night and I became convinced that he was waiting for me to fall asleep so he could attack me. Even when he was gone I feared his return.
To be honest, I actually wonder if my so called psychosis is actually a combination of anxiety with insomnia.
Thankfully these hallucinations reduced when I got back into a better sleep pattern, but they didn't go away all together. Though the good thing is that now I can say that there has been a number of months since they tried to come into my life.